Monday, October 10, 2011
"GUTS" was something i always had since my childhood. May it be to shut off someone's mouth, or to break bones of the one i disliked or to face the most dangerous men and animals, i had the guts to face them, i always thought i can make this proper, make them alright, but....then I met you..
I met you the way a normal human being will never understand because we are two not so "normal" people. I started knowing you...knowing about you. Physical distance was the thing that was loitering somewhere in my mind. You told me what happened, what you had been through, and what people around you had put you into. You cried so many nights telling me that , you were ...all alone !!
I still remember the night when you spoke to me half the night and then you told me that you havent had your food, everyone in the house served themselves and enjoyed and no one even bothered to ask you once, no one even noticed that you existed. I still remember the night when you were suffering from the severe pain, and when I asked you , you told me that it is of no use as no one will come. You asked me to caress you, you told me to hug you and make you sleep...believe me my love, no one in this world would have felt so HELPLESS like i did that night.
When your injured feet was swollen and you "HAD" to dance for others, and then when you returned you couldnt keep your feet on the ground, I knew all people around you will not even be bothered. I wanted to be there with you to take care.The night when you were thirsty for a drop of water ,everyone were else sleeping, and you couldnt call anyone to give you a glass of water, i felt so terribly HELPLESS that i can never express. Even the times when the parasitic people around you shouted and scolded you for not getting up at 4 in the morning to fill in the water, i felt HELPLESS of not being able to squash their faces with my feet. I saw the living leeches around you, who are there with the intention of taking everything what belongs to you.
Baby, I feel HELPLESS when you ask me to put my fingers on your hairs, caress them, to hold you tight in my arms, and ...I am not able to. One thing that echoes in my mind is when you ask your maid to give you anything to eat ..and you add "please" to it!!! I feel HELPLESS to the core and wish if i was there i would have cooked anything you wished.
When you cant sleep coz you have those tears in your eyes , or you are upset coz someone scolded you without any reason, or someone shouted at you, I feel the most HELPLESS man in the world. I want to take care of you...not to let you work a bit, just to make you feel relaxed and happier, make you take rest as much as you want, make you laugh like you always used to... I want to destroy all the loneliness and sadness, and take those parasitic greedy people down, who forgets that evil begets evil...and that I shall return their "favors"
I want to love you..hug you..kiss you like there was no tomorrow!!! Take away all your pains and worries, all your painful memories...I cannot and I will not be HELPLESS from this moment. You are mine and I DARE the world to stop it... I am no more helpless, I will take you away from all and you will be with me for this lifetime and more ! I love you ...