Wednesday, October 12, 2011
I have always wondered if anyone had more courage than me to face life head on and no care anything what people say. I always thought that I had a rock solid heart that can bear any emotions and pains. I always thought that my loss and my pain was bigger ( how foolish I am), People told me that I was like their role model, friends told me that I inspire them...but little did I know that everyone, including ME, was wrong !! I realized this the day I knew YOU...
You came in to my life like a person from a different world, a different dimension. The way I saw you was that you had a cherished and relished life happening in the midst of flashes and sparkles !! I was not able to relate to you thinking that you are far higher than a small town ordinary guy like me. But then I remember that night when I wanted to tell about my life. I spoke to you, shared everything i could and was feeling low, then you told me about your side of the story.
I couldnt hold my tears, i couldnt stop my lips trembling, I couldnt stop myself from the flow of emotions. I had just one question that I didnt ask you..."How did you do it?" You are a beautiful baby doll for me, how did you manage to gain those courage, to have those patience, to be SO STRONG ?? How? how? how?
everything else in this world seemed so less important to me that night, everything else seemed just so fake, everything else seemed so weak in front of YOU ! Though I was not in front of you, but my head bowed down before you with RESPECT and HONOUR. I bowed to you with the fact that I had never known anyone so courageous and bold. You could have gone wayward, do what you wanted to do, but you kept your simplicity and integrty intact. I always been fascinated by the quote by ROCKY : " it doesnt matter how hard you hit, what matters is how hard you can get hit and go on"... I witnessed that in my life in real. This is not a flattery....You are simply the most wonderful person I will ever meet, you are just so true to yourself, so genuine, so real...yet you are a prodigy with tremendous talent and capabilities that can take millions for toss ! You are not arrogant, you are not greedy, you are not proud...you are so simple !!! you are simplicity at its ever possible best. some one said once that a guys head is bowed in front of 3 women, first the goddess, second the mother and third the person is the love of the life.....I here by bow my head to you, in front of the world and ask you to make me be part of you...asking to give me the chance of a life time to take care of you..asking to let me love you for this lifetime and more...bowing down to you I ask you to marry me my love !! I bow down before you...
Monday, October 10, 2011
"GUTS" was something i always had since my childhood. May it be to shut off someone's mouth, or to break bones of the one i disliked or to face the most dangerous men and animals, i had the guts to face them, i always thought i can make this proper, make them alright, but....then I met you..
I met you the way a normal human being will never understand because we are two not so "normal" people. I started knowing you...knowing about you. Physical distance was the thing that was loitering somewhere in my mind. You told me what happened, what you had been through, and what people around you had put you into. You cried so many nights telling me that , you were ...all alone !!
I still remember the night when you spoke to me half the night and then you told me that you havent had your food, everyone in the house served themselves and enjoyed and no one even bothered to ask you once, no one even noticed that you existed. I still remember the night when you were suffering from the severe pain, and when I asked you , you told me that it is of no use as no one will come. You asked me to caress you, you told me to hug you and make you sleep...believe me my love, no one in this world would have felt so HELPLESS like i did that night.
When your injured feet was swollen and you "HAD" to dance for others, and then when you returned you couldnt keep your feet on the ground, I knew all people around you will not even be bothered. I wanted to be there with you to take care.The night when you were thirsty for a drop of water ,everyone were else sleeping, and you couldnt call anyone to give you a glass of water, i felt so terribly HELPLESS that i can never express. Even the times when the parasitic people around you shouted and scolded you for not getting up at 4 in the morning to fill in the water, i felt HELPLESS of not being able to squash their faces with my feet. I saw the living leeches around you, who are there with the intention of taking everything what belongs to you.
Baby, I feel HELPLESS when you ask me to put my fingers on your hairs, caress them, to hold you tight in my arms, and ...I am not able to. One thing that echoes in my mind is when you ask your maid to give you anything to eat ..and you add "please" to it!!! I feel HELPLESS to the core and wish if i was there i would have cooked anything you wished.
When you cant sleep coz you have those tears in your eyes , or you are upset coz someone scolded you without any reason, or someone shouted at you, I feel the most HELPLESS man in the world. I want to take care of you...not to let you work a bit, just to make you feel relaxed and happier, make you take rest as much as you want, make you laugh like you always used to... I want to destroy all the loneliness and sadness, and take those parasitic greedy people down, who forgets that evil begets evil...and that I shall return their "favors"
I want to love you..hug you..kiss you like there was no tomorrow!!! Take away all your pains and worries, all your painful memories...I cannot and I will not be HELPLESS from this moment. You are mine and I DARE the world to stop it... I am no more helpless, I will take you away from all and you will be with me for this lifetime and more ! I love you ...