Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Do you know that I have the best of the moments when i am with you? Do you know that my morning and night begins and ends with you? Do you know that YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZING GIRL IN GOD'S ENTIRE CREATION? You want to know why you are amazing?
Because, your look warms my heart. your touch makes my heart quiver. Being close to you fills my heart with contentment. Touching and caressing you, in completely innocent ways, comforts me and my heart. Feeling your gentle touch on my lips makes me feel desired. feeling you gently touching my face, makes me feel loved.
Gently touching your face ...your shoulder...your back...your hairs..your entire body, fills me with ever increasing love for you. Softly touching your lips with mine fills me with never passion for you. YOu have filled my life with untold happiness.
That is why I know you are AMAZING.... because you make me feel AMAZING !
I am sure that the night I sang to you, was just the perfect night surrounded by perfect time. I am sure that meeting you at this time in our lives is all planned by someone above. I am sure that We have been brought together by some unknown force melting two lives into one. I am sure that we have been brought together as part of our destiny and for something very special we both are unknown of. I know that someone above is always blessing us and ensuring that we love each other more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.
Our love story
Monday, January 2, 2012
o my love ...my darling....today I just wanna let you know that my love for you is burning very brightly this midnight. My heart longs for you. My heart longs to leap at the sound of your voice. My heart longs to be filled with joy by seeing your smile. My heart longs for my love, respect and adoration to flow to you as I gently kiss your hands. My heart longs to be warmed when I hold you in my arms.
My heart longs to feel the passion as I caress your face, stare into your beautiful eyes and tenderly kiss you. My heart longs to see our love for one another grow as we sit next to each n the couch or at the sea shore and share from the heart. My heart longs to express my intense love for you as I rub your leg while we talk. My heart longs to be calmed and comforted as i lovingly kiss and caress your bare arms.
My heart longs for me to cup your face in my hand and draw you in for a tender,loving and passionate kiss. My heart longs to feel the sensual passion as we feed each other with your favorite dark chocolates. My heart longs to express its desire as I tenderly and lovingly touch your lower back. My heart longs for me to feel the love and desire of your gentle touch. My heart longs to experience the sensual passion between us. My heart longs to feels the love and joy of us cuddling and snuggling close. My heart longs for your long passionate kisses and the tight bear hug across my body.
My heart longs for YOU... truly madly and deeply my love.
Heard this word few time s but never understood what it actually meant - Bittersweet ! how can something be bitter as well as sweet ? well time always takes its own course to make people understand all the unsolved mysteries of life ! well it became a reality for me , time made me understand the true meaning of it.
Bittersweet is when you can feel a smile but cannot see it... it is when you can feel the warmth but cannot hug ..it is in the two mindedness even knowing that there will be no oppose..it happens when everything is beautiful an just at reach but the time plays game of hide and seek ...it happens when you know if you say a line there might be consequences but you still say it coz you cant afford to hide it from your love...it happens when you know your love will never say no to you, but circumstantially the love asks you to understand the likeness of people around... it happens when you dont want to eat anything coz you know your love hasnt eaten for the day....it happens when despite the hearts and the souls being bonded together the worldly affairs influence on the relationship !!
I might be wrong...i think I am wrong, coz I have no place for bittersweet !! someone once told me its either zero or a hundred ! so i like always chose the hundred....and I accept that I am wring in using the prefix of Bitter to the word Sweet ! everything is just sweet and gets sweeter then to sweetest ! all the experiences of love is and will only be sweet ! I have had so many sweet experiences of my love ! Bittersweet is just a thought ...a name given to perplexity ! i am not perplexed..I am sure of it , i am not thinking...I am feeling it within !!! Bittersweet is nothing !! it is either bitter or sweet... and I have chosen sweet coz love has chosen me !
Numbers were always something I had hated since my childhood. I preferred a total sum rather than counts :-) slowly the numbers creeped into my life like as if it is never gonna leave me alone for a moment. mathematics, physics, chemistry equations, calculus uffffff i was fed up to the core ! very less did i now that one day the numbers and the counting will be the integral part of my life...i knew it after my true love came in to my life and made it worth living ! staying far and the dying crave to be together, to be in each others' arms had been such a desired wish of eternity !
As she went out of the country, nothing was sure about where she will be, and when will she return. one thing that i knew were the name of the months. She went in december and said she will be back by march, thats when 3 months suddenly became almost 90 days....2160 hours...129600 mins....7776000 secs !!!!!CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT !! the circle of life caught me in !i cud have never thought of seeing those numbers in my life, but now i started counting 7776000 secs, i count 129600 mins ..and i keep alarm for every hour to be sure on my count of 2160 hours !!!
I have eve started to count my breath to be sure of me being alive :-) sounds funny ??? well when you are truly madly and deeply in love a hell lot of things seems funny ! I know it very well that i before i thought of it my love had already started the countdown way long before me ! I know she would do it because she loves me more than i do, and i do not feel shy rather i am proud that she loves me more and I am inspired to loves her much more every moment !
I am not sad ! I am excited i am feeling the tickle ..the butterfly in my stomach finally feel the moment when i will run to her and hold her in my arms and will kiss her for making all the numbers worth counting for ! i am counting .... :-) i love you my life ...my suman !!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
I have always wondered if anyone had more courage than me to face life head on and no care anything what people say. I always thought that I had a rock solid heart that can bear any emotions and pains. I always thought that my loss and my pain was bigger ( how foolish I am), People told me that I was like their role model, friends told me that I inspire them...but little did I know that everyone, including ME, was wrong !! I realized this the day I knew YOU...
You came in to my life like a person from a different world, a different dimension. The way I saw you was that you had a cherished and relished life happening in the midst of flashes and sparkles !! I was not able to relate to you thinking that you are far higher than a small town ordinary guy like me. But then I remember that night when I wanted to tell about my life. I spoke to you, shared everything i could and was feeling low, then you told me about your side of the story.
I couldnt hold my tears, i couldnt stop my lips trembling, I couldnt stop myself from the flow of emotions. I had just one question that I didnt ask you..."How did you do it?" You are a beautiful baby doll for me, how did you manage to gain those courage, to have those patience, to be SO STRONG ?? How? how? how?
everything else in this world seemed so less important to me that night, everything else seemed just so fake, everything else seemed so weak in front of YOU ! Though I was not in front of you, but my head bowed down before you with RESPECT and HONOUR. I bowed to you with the fact that I had never known anyone so courageous and bold. You could have gone wayward, do what you wanted to do, but you kept your simplicity and integrty intact. I always been fascinated by the quote by ROCKY : " it doesnt matter how hard you hit, what matters is how hard you can get hit and go on"... I witnessed that in my life in real. This is not a flattery....You are simply the most wonderful person I will ever meet, you are just so true to yourself, so genuine, so real...yet you are a prodigy with tremendous talent and capabilities that can take millions for toss ! You are not arrogant, you are not greedy, you are not proud...you are so simple !!! you are simplicity at its ever possible best. some one said once that a guys head is bowed in front of 3 women, first the goddess, second the mother and third the person is the love of the life.....I here by bow my head to you, in front of the world and ask you to make me be part of you...asking to give me the chance of a life time to take care of you..asking to let me love you for this lifetime and more...bowing down to you I ask you to marry me my love !! I bow down before you...
Monday, October 10, 2011
"GUTS" was something i always had since my childhood. May it be to shut off someone's mouth, or to break bones of the one i disliked or to face the most dangerous men and animals, i had the guts to face them, i always thought i can make this proper, make them alright, but....then I met you..
I met you the way a normal human being will never understand because we are two not so "normal" people. I started knowing you...knowing about you. Physical distance was the thing that was loitering somewhere in my mind. You told me what happened, what you had been through, and what people around you had put you into. You cried so many nights telling me that , you were ...all alone !!
I still remember the night when you spoke to me half the night and then you told me that you havent had your food, everyone in the house served themselves and enjoyed and no one even bothered to ask you once, no one even noticed that you existed. I still remember the night when you were suffering from the severe pain, and when I asked you , you told me that it is of no use as no one will come. You asked me to caress you, you told me to hug you and make you sleep...believe me my love, no one in this world would have felt so HELPLESS like i did that night.
When your injured feet was swollen and you "HAD" to dance for others, and then when you returned you couldnt keep your feet on the ground, I knew all people around you will not even be bothered. I wanted to be there with you to take care.The night when you were thirsty for a drop of water ,everyone were else sleeping, and you couldnt call anyone to give you a glass of water, i felt so terribly HELPLESS that i can never express. Even the times when the parasitic people around you shouted and scolded you for not getting up at 4 in the morning to fill in the water, i felt HELPLESS of not being able to squash their faces with my feet. I saw the living leeches around you, who are there with the intention of taking everything what belongs to you.
Baby, I feel HELPLESS when you ask me to put my fingers on your hairs, caress them, to hold you tight in my arms, and ...I am not able to. One thing that echoes in my mind is when you ask your maid to give you anything to eat ..and you add "please" to it!!! I feel HELPLESS to the core and wish if i was there i would have cooked anything you wished.
When you cant sleep coz you have those tears in your eyes , or you are upset coz someone scolded you without any reason, or someone shouted at you, I feel the most HELPLESS man in the world. I want to take care of you...not to let you work a bit, just to make you feel relaxed and happier, make you take rest as much as you want, make you laugh like you always used to... I want to destroy all the loneliness and sadness, and take those parasitic greedy people down, who forgets that evil begets evil...and that I shall return their "favors"
I want to love you..hug you..kiss you like there was no tomorrow!!! Take away all your pains and worries, all your painful memories...I cannot and I will not be HELPLESS from this moment. You are mine and I DARE the world to stop it... I am no more helpless, I will take you away from all and you will be with me for this lifetime and more ! I love you ...
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Since my childhood I was told, " son always speak the truth, cause it never hurts"..well i guess my parents and teachers could have never thought how the future will be . I thought being honest and truthful will always solve any problem in this damn world...but here after i am now confirmed that my elders had just an dogmatic assertion about this fact of life.
I lied in many occasions and all those were for escaping some sticks from the teachers :-) and sometimes to parents to be with my friends..for everything else i thought i must speak the truth. And what i got in turn??? .... SILENCE !!!
I always thought if I tell the truth, I will always be understood clearly...there is going to be no misunderstanding...and people will understand that i have not hidden my thoughts and feelings. BUT...i am wrong... i dont know how to pretend, how to hide the emotions and feelings, tried for so many years now, but cant, it does reflect in my eyes.
Today something came to my heart, i told it clearly, without knowing that a simple and harmless and an honest truth would boomerang back to me with so much of pain and guilt !! When I shout and try to say that "I told the truth", i am misunderstood... really that is the time i feel so bad, and sad that my parents and my mentors and my seniours always guided me to the wrong direction...the direction of always telling the truth. little did they know that i will follow it from the bottom of my heart and would finally realise their mistake and realise that ..... " truth hurts".
But I will not change from mindset..because I know one day my truth will be known, and who knows I wont be there to cherish it.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
There is no such thing as a broken heart-only a heart that is learning to love more and better.
Realizing that your heart isn't damaged is a relief. But when you're desperately trying to let go of a former mate, and you're in emotional agony, this bit of wisdom is cold comfort. Many say they can feel a physical aching in the chest that can last for weeks and even months. An inability to hear love songs on the radio without crying is common. At worst, those struggling through a break-up can't stand to be alone, and avoid places where they might see their ex. Conversely, they might even arrange to run in" to their former flame.
Why do we find it so hard to release when a relationship ends? We get emotionally attached when we fall in love. Emotional attachment is wonderful when the relationship is in full bloom, but a great source of pain when the romance is over. Emotional attachment is responsible for much angst, from jealousy to endless mooning over the lost love, to an inability to move on. Once you finally break the attachment, you have a pleasant neutrality towards the former object of your attachment. You know you're over him when you can see him with another woman and not feel a surge of emotion. It's not that you wish him ill; you simply no longer see why you were so hung up on him to begin with.
There are three steps you can take to expedite the process of release and be free of the pain. If you start practicing them immediately, you may find yourself getting on with your life and experiencing a heady freedom by tomorrow.
Step One: Release Constantly. Be aware of how often you think of your former love after the break-up. For example, something may trigger a memory, or a friend may ask how the two of you are doing. Perhaps you go so far as to maintain contact deliberately with his friends and family in hopes of rekindling the flame. Your ex is a point of reference for you. You wonder what he would think of your new haircut, or what she's up to. You may torment yourself imagining her involvement with someone else.
This pattern of thinking is not helpful to you, and it needs to stop. You should cease an behavior that keeps you hanging on. There is a magic inrelease. If you are meant to be with her, nothing can keep you apart. For now, you need to disengage. Releasing is not something you can fake. You have to really let go. Letting go may expedite her coming back to you, but you can't do it for this reason. She is not with you now, and that reality must be faced.
How to Release: Cease any behavior that propels you toward her. No more phone calls. Avoid places you may see her if possible. You also need to quit thinking about her and imagining a reunion. Every time you start thinking of her, say (either out loud or silently), "I release you to your highest good. I am free now." As you let go, a strange thing will happen. The Universe will begin to support you. Synchronistic events and spontaneous good will arise to distract you or pull you in another direction. Repeat this release, even if you have to do it dozens of times a day. Because you will be getting positive results, it will become easier and easier to do.
Step Two: Focus on Your Life Vision. It is said that what you look for in another is only yourself. Refocus on your own life when you're plagued with thoughts of your ex-loves. This is healing. As you go through the grieving that is natural upon a break-up, begin to open to a vision of your life as you want it. Include not only the perfect relationship but also your life's mission and most importantly, an image of you at your best-in your power and flourishing, living your life to the fullest. Each time you begin to think of your former love, set these thoughts aside and instead contemplate the vision you've begun to create of yourself. Rather than falling into despair or plotting how to get her back, do something concrete to begin making this vision a reality. Your time is better spent, and this refocusing forces you back into honoring your highest self.
Step Three: Dissolve the Pain. Both of the previous steps will help you handle the pain of emotional release. However, if you have had other wounds in your life, you have built up a large emotional "pain body" that has been reactivated by this break-up. It is time to dissolve this pain body so that you'll never experience such deep loss again. Do this by allowing yourself to feel all of the pain you have stored up inside. Know that tears are healing, a release in and of themselves. Allow yourself to sob in the shower. Embrace the part of you that is inconsolable. Instead of fighting the pain in your heart (and any other physical symptoms), let them be, accepting them fully as part of your healing.
As your pain body is dissolved, begin a practice that will keep you free from storing up more pain in the future. Teach yourself to not take on any new pain. To do this, you must change your perspective. First, know that no one is trying to hurt you. They're doing the best they can, and are simply showing you their limits of their insensitivity. This will help you to quit taking things personally and to forgive.
Secondly, quit feeding your pain. Many of us-especially those we would label "drama queens" (and kings)-need to experience pain in order to feel alive. For others, much of our identity is wrapped up in being a victim. The next time you begin feeling pain, catch yourself. Tell yourself, "I'm thinking of him again." The simple act of noticing how you feed your pain will begin to dissolve it immediately. Next, do whatever is necessary to not let the pain mushroom into a full-blown despair. You may need to distract yourself or remember all the good you have in your life.
As you dissolve your pain body and learn new patterns, your release will go very quickly. You will propel yourself into states of happiness and peace you didn't know existed.
Not only will this break-up not kill you, but it may be the best thing that ever happened to you. The pain of a break-up can push you into a world of magic, of release and of healing that you otherwise might not have entered. And even though you may think your ex is the be-all, end-all, of your life, undoubtedly there is more love, even better love right around the corner.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Can anyone tell me what the real meaning of GROWING UP is????? Well I know you have hell lot to comment on it. Ok then Let me begin…
I have always wondered, during my 1st standard, of growing up someday. But that growing up was all about becoming physically big. Never knew that growing up would be so complex (made by we the human beings). I have realized down the years that our concept of growing is so simple..But almost all of us make it so perplex. I know as we become older, we tend to get matured in the way we look, think and act. But now the main point… why do we try to change what we are within??? Why???
I am an adult...Grown up...And I just love being myself being the child at heart. Not pretending and thing about what others might think and talk. There are times when I talk to people of my age or younger to me...And they say you are so kiddish? I really feel pity on them that they have lost their inner child so early!! Ha ha ha!! Poor things... Now you might tell me that there is always a time for everything..ya I agree !! But tell me my friends, stepping into your empty bedroom or bath room and being your inner child… does that make any sense to you!!! Well I am not talking of making a fool out of you, neither do I do it. But when you say “I am not into such irrelevant discussions”...”Its not of my age”… “Those are for Kids, grow up”... I just smile and laugh to the core deep within myself coz no matter how elder or younger you are, how much successful you are financially or in career, you have lost the most valuable asset you can possess till you die – “the inner child”!!
Am I talking crap?? No way..And if you think so then buddy I think you have moved ahead of growing up… you have grown old!!! I know many will refer to their own lives as they are reading it. That’s ok, at least realize it dear!!
So, next time when you are having pop corns and peanuts throw them in air and try catching it by your mouth. No matter where you are. ..Make a smiley on your thumb and talk to it for few seconds, no matter where you are. ..Make funny faces at small kids and make them laugh, no matter where you are… talk about the colours of clothes you are wearing and taste of foods you are eating, no matter where you are. Etc etc …You know I dont mind being called as kiddish, than be a hypocrite towards self !!
There are so many things in life to cherish. Don’t you realize the life is so small and uncertain? Let your build up physique and social status not stop you from being your “inner child”. Life fun buddy!! And while reading this if you have thought at least once that I am an idiot, then I thank you for it…coz that’s serves the purpose. I’m sure you din get me!! ha ha ha ..have fun !!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
This time again its about us. You might be thinking, why the heck did I use such title?? The answer is very simple. It is because it is the truth.. a truth about everyone of us, that we are the idiots (despite our education and so called "trying to be someone successful" attitude)
I presume that you all might be not so happy with the way I am throwing my words. But I am sorry to say that's the fact. enough of beating round the bush. Lets come to the main point. Recently I was going through a networking site, where I came across a discussion about "whether Dr Manmohan Singh should be the next PM?". The discussion had tremendous inputs from senior employees of big shot companies. To my surprise most of the comment was Against Dr. MMS. Well it can always be, every one has got the freedom of speech.But what I couldn't understand was the fact that the people were coming out with lot of points which were unknown to, i believe almost every one of us (except for the one who said that). All of a sudden began a comparison between MMS and Advani. Gosh you should have read those.
One of them said "ADVANI is less fatal for India" !!! ha ha ha ha !! i asked him, what do you mean being less fatal??? he din answer..probably the truth had come out accidentally. You all must be thinking that I am a supporter of MMS. Well sorry to disappoint you, I do not support anyone, coz the root of every political party is rotten. But tell me one thing honestly, rite now there are two PM candidates..MMS and Advani ...either one is going to rule India (and their pockets as well :-)) ...who should rightly be our next PM???
should it be MMS? a genuine gentleman, very intelligent academically, soft spoken (some even say he is the puppet of the party president) OR should it be Advani who is aggressive, out spoken, BOLD, comparatively less knowledge about what is happening in the world (except for the RAM mandir issue, setu samudram, Hindutwa and all the issues related to religion)...???
You all would have been thinking that why did referred you as idiots and spoke about MMS and Advani....I am coming to that point as well !!1 :-) we are the IDIOTS because, ultimately we did not and would not choose our PM..We did not vote for a leader, rather voted for a party. We did not hope to bring revolution, rather wanted to play safe and get rid of this election stuff. I know while you read this, deep down you you are thinking that I am correct.
We call ourselves educated, superior animal, possessing lifestyles, being successful, etc etc !!! well my friends we are the idiots, and I am the biggest idiot to tell you all these. We haven't used our fundamental rights...actually 99% of you don't even know about our fundamental rights. The reason for writing this is not just for sake of writing. If 1 person out of 100 read this and understand the Value of being and remaining true Indian, then probably in another 2 elections we would be able to choose a leader we want to and not someone we have to. All the best my beloved Idiots !! :-)